Fulfilling My Reason for Being

Sunday, March 29, 2009


Fulfilling My Reason for Being




When I was in high school, in St. Louis County, Missouri, in the 1960‘s, certain female friends called me, what sounded like, “Diddy.” Confused by the sobriquet, and uncertain as to its meaning, I asked what they were saying, and, why? They were mum. Years later, one of them told me they were saying “Deity,” viz., “Deity Coleman.”

Naturally, I was confused. How could they infer anything like that about me--one who was quite skeptical about all things religious at that time? And one who sensed no divinity in himself, whatsoever. Sure, I was a founder of the black students’ organization, well read, reasonably smart, and readily acknowledged to be a student leader. But, “deity”? That was way over-the-top even viewed retrospectively.

Later, much later, I learned there is, necessarily, divinity in us all. And divinity in all-- continuously and uninterruptedly. Eternally.

This conception germinated slowly within my consciousness, over time, gaining sustenance from many sources, in many ways. The teachings of Jesus Christ became the crystalline epicenter of them all, after having thrice been delivered from death by his grace and mercy.

He taught me far more than I could ever “know” about myself, my God and my context. He still teaches all who earnestly seek to know. Jesus heals and fulfills. Christ healed and fulfilled me. Providing living water that slaked and quenched my thirst for understanding.

His declaration in John 14:12 assured and encouraged me. “Verily, verily I say unto you, he that believeth on me , the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.” Belief and work. Belief in his work. Believe.

This apprehension, this realization came to permeate my entire consciousness. It empowered me. It edified me. It emboldened me. It also wounded and convicted me, impelling study and activity, while emasculating all excuses. To know and believe is to do and achieve, necessarily, world without end. Amen. Matt.28:20.

But, no one goes joyfully to Golgotha, not even the Savior, the exemplar of us all. Mark 14:36: “And He was saying, Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will."

Thus, I fled away from my mandate. In doing so, I emulated Jonah, Elijah, and Paul, nee Saul, and many of you. Now, spent, cornered and cowering, I surrender to his will. “Touch me, Lord Jesus!”

In Jonah 1:2, we find where God orders Jonah to: “Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and cry against it; for their wickedness is come up before me.” Instead, Jonah attempts to flee the command of God by sailing to Tarshish, by way of Joppa. This precipitated near-disastrous consequences for Jonah and the sailors. In a fierce storm, the crew threw him into the sea, reluctantly, as an act of expiation.

God’s whale swallowed Jonah whole. And, after 3 days, the whale vomited him, safely, in Nineveh. Here, Jonah would, now, gladly cry against Ninevah, as God had originally ordered.

Similarly, Elijah, the mighty prophet of God, after defeating, then slaughtering, the 450 priests of Baal in 1 Kings 18:20-40, flees in terror for his life when their sovereign, Queen Jezebel, threatens retaliatory vengeance upon Elijah, himself, in 1 Kings 19:2-4:

2Then Jezebel sent a messenger unto Elijah, saying, So let the gods do to me, and more also, if I make not thy life as the life of one of them by to morrow about this time.
3And when he saw that, he arose, and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongeth to Judah, and left his servant there.
4But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers.

The Lord saved Elijah. But, rebuked this prophet’s claim of presumptive uniqueness, noting there remained 7,000 other prophets whose knees had not bowed to Baal and whose lips had not kissed him. 1 Kings 19:18

Elijah, who met God in the mouth of a cave at Mount Horeb, obeyed God’s command to return on his way to the wilderness of Damascus, and to anoint Hazael, Jehu, and Elisha, enroute. 1 Kings 19:15-17

The Apostle Paul, as is well known, was not always an “apostle.” Acts 8:1-3; 9:2. Neither, was he always “Paul.” Only after meeting Jesus on the Damascus Road and being converted, did Saul become Paul, only then did the former persercutor, Gal. 1:23, become the Lord’s preacher and apostle. Acts 9:1-31.

Jonah was already a good man. Adversity made him a better man. Elijah had already out-dueled, then slew, the priests of Baal. Yet, he feared and fled from Jezebel unto Mount Horeb. Saul was a destroyer of the followers of Christ. But the Damascus road flipped his script. Paul surrendered. Elijah surrendered. Jonah surrendered. In the end, we all surrender. Because, in the end we surrender all to its source!

I, too, am a good man. But, whom the Lord loves, he prunes that they may bear more fruit. John 15:2. And so it was on July 20, 2010, he “flipped my script:” purged me, by striking me with a stroke on the left side of my body. In that instant, my purpose in life became clear. He has enabled me by disabling me, so I may perfectly pursue his ministry. He has emboldened me by withholding from me my lucrative legal legacy. I chose. But God disposed.

Over the years, I have attempted and studied many things. Yet, my efforts have, somehow, all fallen short of my expectations. I’ve been constrained to look inward, to retrace my steps to more sapient and satisfying moments. All of these have involved organizing, teaching, writing, and/or implementing some spiritually-derived stratagem for change, in society enabling greater good and inducing greater love.

The Bible says in Romans 4:17--

As it is written, "I have made you the father of many nations." Abraham acted in faith when he stood in the presence of God, who gives life to the dead and calls into existence things that don't yet exist.

I have been called by God from the womb, from the moment I breached the matrix. My high school friends saw the call of God upon me. They saw an unfolding anointing, which I could not see.

Romans 8:28 says

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

In the black church, being “called” is good stuff. The scripture, Romans 8:29-30, equates the “call” with both predestination and justification.

29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

Predestination is more than inevitability and justification is more than forgiveness, in this context. That is because God’s grace is the context. God’s foreknowledge is itself grace, and forgiveness.

But all cannot hear, or will not heed, that “still small voice.” 1 Kings 19:12. To be conformed to the likeness of Jesus Christ is the final consummation of glory.

And if one does not “hear” God’s call upon one’s own life, one may still be blessed by simply calling on God. Romans 10:13-17 explains:

13For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
14How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher?
15And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things!
16But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report?
17So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Hearing is one thing. Heeding what has been heard is quite another, as Jonah’s example teaches. Faith is fundamental. Hebrews 11:6:

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.



“Heeding” is obedience. Allowing God’s will to be done through you is complete obedience, a difficult task. Even Christ decried the bitter cup, which he was called to consume: crucifixion and resurrection.

Even so, there is a reward for obedience that is at once temporal and eternal. Mark 10: 29-31 is reassuring.

29And Jesus answered and said, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel's,
30But he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.
31But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.

Another reward is one’s ability to “call” things into being as though they were, through God’s grace. Mark 11:23-24 instructs:

For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith. Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

The mantra “Perceive, Believe, Receive” commends itself to this precept. “Whosoever,” means anyone, “sinner” or “saved” or someone in between. All have this same power to call things into being as though they were, if they do not doubt in their hearts.

“Doubt” disables, disarms, destroys and devastates man, internally. Doubt, in short, dissipates belief, which undermines faith, which separates and isolates the created from the creator, man from God, which deprives man of access to divine knowledge, wisdom, power.

In 1916, Rev. Charles A. Tindley wrote the hymn “Leave it There.” Apropos to the issue of doubt is this line: “If you trust and never doubt, he will surely bring you. Take your burden to the Lord and leave them there.” http://nethymnal.org/htm/l/e/leaveitt.htm

Daniel, a “dissolver of doubts,” Daniel 5:12, 16, was commended to King Belshazzar of Babylon, by his queen, to interpret the mysterious handwriting on the wall which so greatly troubled the king that “the joints of his loins were loosed, and his knees smote against one another.” (Dan.5:6) None of the king’s astrologers, soothsayers, or wise men could read the writing, nor interpret it to the king. But, Daniel could and did, (Dan. 5:25-29), by and through God‘s grace. (Dan.2:19-23) The queen’s confidence in Daniel was based upon his singularly successful interpretation of King Nebuchadnezzar’s dream.

Lorraine Hansberry, the great African American playwright, author of “Raisin in the Sun” and “The Drinking Gourd,” among other works, resolved “I am a writer, and I am going to write.” Such synchronicity between one’s self awareness and one’s self-actualization; between one’s true reason for being and one’s life’s work; and between one’s predestined purpose and one’s passionate pursuit, is divinity, itself.

Writing, for “Sweet Lorraine” Hansberry, as for me, is “thy first love,” referenced in Revelations 2:4. It is “the first works,” which one must “do,” after repentance and remembrance of past failings. Rev. 2:6. “Write the vision and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.” Habakkuk 2:2-3

“Failings,” of course, is relative. One may appear to succeed and yet fail. One may appear to fail and yet succeed. Jesus Christ is a prime example of one who appeared to fail--the crucifixion--and who yet succeeded, the resurrection. Judas, on the other hand, appeared to succeed, receiving earthly reward, the symbolic pieces of silver, and also universal opprobrium and eternal damnation.

One, indeed, may display good works, patience, faithfulness, multiple virtues and multiple attributes, and still come up short in God’s sight. A good example is “the rich young man” who inquired, “Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?” Jesus admonished him “to keep the commandments.” The young man rejoined, “All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?“ Matthew 19:20. Jesus told him to “Go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shall have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.” He sorrowfully declined this earthly sacrifice requisite to “perfection.” His possessions precluded his perfection.

Even so, perfection is the standard enjoined upon us all. “Be ye therefore perfect even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:45. The disciples were astonished by this formidably high standard, and asked “Who then can be saved?” Matthew 19:25. “But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.”

Foremost among the gifts of God is mercy. We need it. For even if we do all that God would have us do, we remain unprofitable servants, Luke 17:10--

So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.


God’s grace and mercy is a vital part of the perfection enjoined upon us. “But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God: I trust in the mercy of God forever and ever.” Psalm 52:8.

The most compelling question in the Bible is: "Whom do you say that I am?" Matthew 16:15. Jesus' question is far more important than Peter's response to the question. Each of us must answer Christ directly, for ourselves.

"Salvation," unfortunately, cannot be "earned," any more than life, itself, can be earned. It is "the gift of God, not of works, lest any man should boast." Ephesians 2:8-10.

While men may revile us and do all manner of evil against us, this question remains:

"Who shall lay anything to the charge of God's elect? It is God that justifieth. Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation or distress or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors, through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 8:33-39.

Just like everyone who claims to be a "jew" (Romans 2:17-29) is not, but is a liar, Revelations 3:9, many who claim to be saved, sanctified, and glorified are not either, but are also lying.

Therefore, "Behold, I come quickly, hold that fast that thou hast that no man take thy crown." Rev.3:11.

What is at issue is "the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure, which he has purposed in himself." Ephesians 1:9.
The truth is, while there are many, many formulations, there are only two destinations: "everlasting punishment or life eternal." Matthew 25: 46.

"Whom do you say that I am?" Matt.16:15. Each must answer for himself or herself, "According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love..." Ephesians 1:4.

There are three stages of spiritual nutrition. "Milk" (I Peter 2:2) and "strong meat", (Heb. 5:14) are commonly addressed.

Herein, I focus upon the too-often-missed first stage: colostrum.

The "colostrum" stage, which is the pre-milk stage, http://www.answers.com/topic/colostrum consisting of water, vitamins, antibodies, and proteins, essential to a child's early, foundational development: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6. A new-born child, like a born-again Christian, must be fortified, with colostrum, its mother's pre-milk before being fed her actual milk.

Therefore "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom, he may devour." (1 Pet. 5:8)

This primary, pragmatic stage can be easily overlooked, by unsuspecting parents, weakening the immunity system of the spiritual and physical babe, increasing its vulnerability to evil germs, and to evil incarnate. Vigilance must begin, in fact, before the child's birth as Rev.12:1-5, attests:

1And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars:
2And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered.
3And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads.
4And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born.
5And she brought forth a man child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron: and her child was caught up unto God, and to his throne.

I was a breast-fed baby, at least, initially, according to my mother. But, eventually my feedings became too painful for her, so she switched me to a glass bottle. In due course, she told me, I threw the bottle across the room and broke it. But, before I switched to the bottle, however, my body was fortified through Momma’s colostrum.

As with breast feeding, so, it was with the church and the word of God. I was fortified and sanctified from the womb in the redeeming gospel of Jesus Christ. “For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.” Gal. 1:12 Therefore, whenever the devil arises, in whatever guise, I see him and am able to withstand and resist him, through the grace of God. Praise God!

Seeing, withstanding and resisting evil are my reasons for being.